Just let go and enjoy fun moments with the family
“Just let go off the bar!” That was the favorite scream of my instructor! I have discovered for the past decade a new passion: Kitesurfing. I go and practice this cool activity whenever I get a chance, even with my busy professional schedule. I used to live in the enjoyable city of Perth, in Western Australia, right next to the ocean – it was a kitesurfing lovers’ paradise. I could go kitesurfing almost every weekend, and from time to time, I was lucky enough to go after work when my schedule allowed, and when the wind is blowing enough.
“Just let go off the bar” also applies in life, meaning jut let go and breathe. Chill out from your crazy busy life and live!
Now back in France, it’s not quite often that I practice kitesurfing. I can do so when I’m at my beach house in the South-West of France, Lege-Cap-Ferret, with my husband – who’s also kitesurfing – lucky me :-), and soon my 2 children will be on their board. We had a kitesurfing trip with the family in Greece. So again, this is an accessible practice for all, even it seems not!
One day, in the not-too-distant future (I hope), I wish I could just let go off the bar, off from my busy work schedule and kitesurf more often than now… hope my dream would come true soon.
In this post, I’d like to share with you how this practice helped me to step out of my comfort zone and gained confidence and just let go myself to focus on importance stuff: me. I’m continuing my life journey with the ups and downs, just like everyone else and I’m trying to stay on track with a balanced lifestyle, and I hope I can help you find yours too.
Just let go off wakeboarding
I discovered kitesurfing in 2014 thanks to a kitesurfing friend (thanks Manue!) with whom I used to wakeboard in Malaysia, where I used to live for 8 fantastic years. She did not have to convince me much and just let go off wakeboarding, as she was sure that kitesurfing would become my favorite sport. She was right!
For those of you who don’t know what it is: imagine yourself wearing snowboard boots, strapped to a board that goes into the water. Then a boat pulls you along with a rudder bar attached to a rope. Not just any boat, since you need one with ballasts (tanks that fill with water) to weigh down the stern of the boat and create those “wakes” behind the boat.
Wakesurfing alternative is more gentle for the body, but still require the boat and the pilot… you can see my prowesses in tthe IfWeKite YouTube Channel, when I was in Lake Conroe, Houston, Texas.
During one of our sessions, my friend told me, “Neary, knowing you, you’d love kitesurfing and should get into it, plus we can do it together as I don’t have a kiteboarding female friend”.
Challenge taken!
You can glide, wakeboard, ride or even jump, do tricks or pirouettes for those who are very, very experienced or daredevils. I’ll tell you right now, not everyone can practice this, as it is a rather physical sport. I myself ended up giving up because it was quite expensive in the long run, even in Malaysia, and I often injured myself trying to jump and do tricks… and I’m note getting any younger over the years… ☹
Just let go off your comfort zone
At that time, I’d just separated from my children’s father, and just as well, I could go where I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. It’s almost true, because of the children’s schooling . Easier said than done! I’d never been on vacation, abroad and alone with my kids.
It seemed daunting for me, and I can tell you that I was going through a rather difficult period. It is never a joy to breakout in a couple, especially with two young children. At that time, my daughter was 7 and my son 4. I’d been an expatriate in Malaysia since 2011, and being a separated woman in this environment is a real challenge. Firstly, I was one of the few working expatriate women, and secondly, I was the only divorcee. In that environment, I really felt like an outsider. I could, if you feel like it, tell you more in another post about my arrival in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and the gender preconceptions people may have, it was quite funny. Don’t hesitate to comment as required.
But I was determined to start kitesurfing in a place that would be for women friendly. And this is where I found Liz in MuiNe and started my lessons in her Kitecamp C2SkyKitecenter.
Just let go and Kitesurf – The beginning of a passion
After a few months’ reflection, I set off for a week’s vacation with the kids, heading for Mui Ne in Vietnam, a small town 3 hours east of Ho Chi Minh City. It was a good opportunity to get to know Vietnam and kitesurfing. And off we go on our kiteboarding adventure!
First of all, it’s important to know that you cannot learn to kitesurf on your own, as it’s a risky sport if you haven’t been guided.
The kite is chosen according to wind and wave conditions, and your weight. And you don’t start out in the water straight away. It took me 4 days to get on the board. I must admit I wasn’t listening to my instructor, Tommy, very well… No matter how hard I tried to get on, Tommy kept me body dragging until I’d mastered the kite and the bar control. With my wakeboarding habits, I tended to pull on the bar, which made me take off like SuperWoman from several meters. It was fun to take off, but also worrying, especially for Tommy, who was worried about me falling, and falling, again and again in the water. He kept shouting at me over the radio (supplied with the helmet, as I was a beginner) – just let go off the bar, let go off the bar!
I was AT LAST, allowed to take my board, a Twin-tip. These type of board is symmetrical and can be used to sail in either direction. Hence the name TWIN-tip.
Just let go off the bar, just let go off yourself
I understood later, after introspection of her sessions, that I was having trouble letting go of the kitesurfing bar, in the same way as I was having trouble letting go of my old life, as a woman in a couple with two children who couldn’t be happy. I was drowning in work to avoid spending time with my family, my kids and especially my former husband. A feeling of guilt haunted me. For women, it’s not easy to get away from a life where we had built a couple, a family. And above all, I felt guilty for my children.
I finally managed to let go off that bar, a bar that represented much more than my independence on the water, it was the new independence I was building for myself. A new beginning to allow myself to be happy again, and regain my Happiness Power: The D.O.S.E – Dopamine, Ocytocine, Serotonin, Endorphine. (See this post related to daily happiness hormones that can be introduced in your life).
Hooked to kitesurfing
Even if it wasn’t easy at first, it took several sessions after my week in Vietnam to really get hooked to this new sport. I had to travel to several trips, in Kuantan, east of Malaysia, and Bandah Aceh, north of Sumatra in Indonesia, in Bali, then finally in Australia, to finally feel the ultimate freedom. No need for any boat or ski lifts. Just the sea, the ocean and my gears.
On my kite, I think of nothing. I can just catch the wind in my face and enjoy the soft touch of the sun on my face. You’ll see later that most kite spots often mean sunshine, at least the places I’ve been in Asia Pacific. When I ride the waves, I just let myself be carried along. I sail far out to sea or ocean and along the beach, depending on the wind direction. I’ve even sailed with dolphins in Australia, it’s like dreaming while you’re awake. It’s the only time when I live life to the fullest and nothing else matters. I have no worries, no husband, no children, no job. Just be, live and breathe, in the moment. I feel like a goddess on the water and I’m completely me, it’s just an incredible joy and gratitude to the Universe. That’s what you should think of when relating kitesurfing.
After tasting these unique sensations, I can’t help but want to get back out on the water.
What else? It’s easy to make friends with other kitesurfing women and men, on the sites you’re travelling to. Discussions follow on from one another on a wide range of subjects. Feedback on your sessions, the equipment we used, wind and wave conditions, etc. is unlimited when you have a passion, whether you’re a beginner or more experienced.
And it’s even better when you go with your tribe – friends and family.
Regaining confidence through kitesurfing
The last thing I’d like to share is that I’ve regained a certain self-confidence. It’s a pretty cool sport. After my first week of lessons, I felt more toned. I’ve re-muscled without even knowing it, and I’ve also got a great sun-tan. Yes, kitesurfing doesn’t require an athletic physique. You gain physical benefits without realizing it. Especially for ladies, it helps strengthening our cores and belly, which I find the most challenging to tone. After a week of kitesurfing, I always feel the changes in my overall body, it’s just magic!
I’ve always defined myself as a strong woman. At least that’s what I used to think. But since my separation, and alternating custody with my children, I felt completely weakened. I’ve had multiple personal, professional and health problems all adding up this year. In the end, this accumulation of negative threads led me into a rather dark period, and I locked myself up in a cage of negativity. I intoxicated myself with bad thoughts. To the point where I felt like a complete failure at everything. As a mother, a wife, a woman, and also as a professional. I doubted myself in every aspect of my life. I was able to put a name to this phenomenon a few years ago with a coaching session in my company. This feeling of intense self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy is known as “imposter syndrome“.
Thinking of Kitesurfing is in fact my refuge, my remotivation and my remedy when I’m in this state. And now that I feel better after my session in Paros, Greece, this summer, I’d like to use my experience to help other women. I found out recently that this syndrome that affects 75% of female executives (KPMG report).
What if we kite?
Last Questions for you:
– What are your first impressions of kitesurfing?
– What’s the difference between starting a new sport or a new job?
Leave me your answers at the bottom of this page.
Neary
